she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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