This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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