New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
