Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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