his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
