Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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