She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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