Cold hands, warm shart.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
