they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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