So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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