I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
