I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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