saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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