the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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