Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
