I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
