It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
