i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
