Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
You did what with his pubic hair?
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