it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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