I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
