white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
