PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize