oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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