At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
