i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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