fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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