maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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