I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
