why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
