im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
