worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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