The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
