Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
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