Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
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