i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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