I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
