how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
