why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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