so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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