Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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