Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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