I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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