don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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