You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
he puts the penis in happiness.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
