everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize