Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
