let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
