Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
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Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
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painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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