I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
