this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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