Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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