I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
