no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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