guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I think I am morally bankrupt
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
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I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
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He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
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