How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
