I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
