Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
