i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
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votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It's official drugs can't kill me
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
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And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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