My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I am naked and annoyed.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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