i barfeds in our rink
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
