Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize