it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
pray to the hookup gods
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
