i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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