Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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