no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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