I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
