What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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