guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Randomize