Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I looked at my own cervix.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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