i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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