OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
