ugly people sure do ruin things
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
