omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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