You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
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chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
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ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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